Believing When You Can't Believe
The Gospel of Mark seems to be the most "real life" Gospel. Mark seems to not be as concerned with getting every detail just right or making sure the stories are in chronological order all the time. He wanted to show that Jesus Christ, the God-man, came to real people with real needs and He met them.
One of the most raw stories of faith that we find in Mark's account - and truthfully the entire New Testament - is the story of a father who brings his demon possessed son to Jesus. Okay, so not many of us are dealing with this specific issue, but we are all dealing with situations we don't understand or have any idea how to overcome. Let's read the story together and draw a few points that I believe will help us navigate through times of darkness and despair. In bold, you'll see the parts of the story that I want to hone in on.
Mark 9:17-27 - "Someone from the crowd answered him, “Teacher, I brought my son to you. He has a spirit that makes him unable to speak. Whenever it seizes him, it throws him down, and he foams at the mouth, grinds his teeth, and becomes rigid. I asked your disciples to drive it out, but they couldn’t.”He replied to them, “You unbelieving generation, how long will I be with you? How long must I put up with you? Bring him to me.”
So they brought the boy to him. When the spirit saw him, it immediately threw the boy into convulsions. He fell to the ground and rolled around, foaming at the mouth. “How long has this been happening to him?” Jesus asked his father.“From childhood,” he said. “And many times it has thrown him into fire or water to destroy him. But if you can do anything, have compassion on us and help us.”
Jesus said to him, “‘If you can’? Everything is possible for the one who believes.”Immediately the father of the boy cried out, “I do believe; help my unbelief!”
No doubt, this father had spent every day over the past several years praying to God for help, and searching for solutions to this horrifying situation. He was quite literally watching his son battle a demon every single day, and he couldn't do anything about it.
Finally, he hears about Jesus. This was his chance for he and his son to climb out of the dark pit they had been in for so long. He finds Jesus' disciples first and they are unable to drive out the demon. These men, who as far as we can tell, had done this before, could not drive out this demon.
The father had no doubt heard stories of the disciples doing this for other people, so why not for his son? Have you ever suffered through a situation that you watched many other people overcome, but you still can't seem to find a way out? That can make you lose faith pretty quickly and believe that you'll never have hope again, even though many other people are now on the other side of the very problem you're facing.
No doubt shaken, the father now heads to Jesus, and immediately the boy is thrown into convulsions. Have you ever brought your problem to Jesus, only to have things get worse the moment you decide to pray? Jesus is supposed to make things better, so why do we often experience a spike in our suffering when we run to Him? And Jesus doesn't immediately solve the problem. He asks the father a question that had to sting a little bit, "how long has this been happening?" Jesus, you know the answer to that, would you just fix the problem so that we can go on with our lives?
But often, Jesus is inviting us not so simply have him solve our issues, but to have a conversation with Him - to lay before Him the burdens of our hearts, even though He already knows them. You will never waste your time by laying your problems at the feet of Jesus. It is never a wasted breath to talk to God about the things you can't even mention to others because it's just too painful.
Then, the next statement from the father is "if you can do anything." Sometimes, we feel as though we can only pray to God if we know exactly what we want from Him and how to ask for it. This father could have said "I've brought my son because I know you'll heal him and cast this demon out." But the father was so broken, he wasn't really even sure what he wanted from Jesus other than "compassion and help."
Jesus responds with what seems like rebuke at first, but as we watch the story unfold, it actually seems more accurately to be Him drawing this hurting father deeper into faith. "If you can? Everything is possible for the one who believes."
Belief? Jesus, I've spent years watching my son experience unspeakable suffering and I can't do a single thing about it. Then I bring him to you and all you've done is ask questions. Your disciples tried, and they wasted my time. And you want me to believe?
That's what I would have said anyway.
But instead, the father responds with a statement of extreme faith. On the outside it seems like a statement of doubt and despair. Actually, it's both. "I believe, help my unbelief." In other words, I want to believe, but I'm not sure I can. For so long, I did believe, and now my belief feels a lot more like doubt. Have you ever prayed like that? Sometimes this kind of prayer feels like a last resort; a prayer that God probably won't honor because it feels like unbelief to us. However, I believe this is the point that God often brings us to: not blond saving faith, but a desire to believe, even though it doesn't make sense. And we know Jesus honors this kind of faith, because he heals the boy after all.
This story teaches us that wanting to believe is enough. Because it's not our faith that brings healing or deliverance, but the object of our faith. God shows up through our weakness, not our moments when we feel like we have it all together. Faith that moves mountains is the size of a mustard seed - it's easy to miss.
So the next time you find yourself in a dark place or a pit of despair, pray. Even when you don't feel like praying, pray. Believe. Even when you don't believe, believe. When you feel as though you're about to walk away from God because it's just too hard, lean in. God LOVES to show up in times like that.
I am convinced that believing when you can't believe is the definition of biblical, God-honoring faith. And I believe that if we would learn how to tap into that kind of faith - even in the midst of intense doubt - God will begin to show up a whole lot more in our lives. At least, we will see Him more than we ever have.
This post was inspired by Craig Groeschel's new book "Hope in the Dark." It is quite possibly the best book I've ever read on how to find hope in the midst of life's toughest battles. You can find more information and purchase the book here - https://www.craiggroeschel.com/books/hope-in-the-dark
